Miami Country Day’s community service day was a huge success (Wow-wee, king of the castle!)! Students were given the opportunity to take part in numerous Community Service opportunities, ranging from cooking for the homeless to, well, shoveling horse bodily concoctions (mmm!). As you can guess, I was one of those who deviled in the activity of Horse maintenance, and boy what an interesting experience it was (notice how I refrain from using the word “fun”, because it was everything but)! My peers and I learned how to properly shovel horse-made manure piles and dispose them into the Spiral Mountain of Brownly Horse Marmalade!

During my ever so “pleasant” horse-related theological experience, my group met with Horse Caretaker Mark, who clearly knew how to correctly deal with the squadrons of Horse Manure enforcers. Mark said “In order to scoop a full pile sufficiently, you have to use the Torque of your heel to drive the Poop-slayer shovel tool deep into the ground to allow maximum Feces Radius Coverage”. It was hard at first (and sucked immensely), but after an hour (more, actually), I managed to detain about 29 communities of cluster ejectamenta (Just endless arrays of Poop-fumed forest fires). To be fully honest, however, I found it especially hard to do so especially when the horse would approach the dung carrier (Poop Barrel) and begin to, I guess “sniff?” it’s own meadow muffins; it would get overwhelmingly close to my face, I thought for a second the horse was going to release a Strike Force Barrage of Feculence Frag Explosives. Luckily, I was able dodge them with my Spidey senses. It wasn’t easy though, the incoming feces attack ships (Whoa!, better dip before everything blows up!) made it extremely difficult to collect and diminish all the Defensive Turd Foundations. “It was easily one of the hardest, yet most satisfying days of my Life”- Colonel Edward Ratner of the Poop Police Department; I was able to help the Injured Horses, and allowed them to live in a Dung free environment, that is until the horses decide to  once again populate their fenced environment with even more independent poop villages (For Political purposes, I am unable to provide footage of the battle)

Happy Ridge Service Choice Sponsor (Incoming Irony, get prepared!) (Drum Roll please!) (tadadadadadadabodtdstststs) *^Mr. Brown^* said “it was most definitely an interesting day, I’m just glad the Students were able to be mature and responsible about the activity and overall, everyone did a great job”. Lol. In the end, The Night Soil Armies were successfully defeated; Peaceful Ridge was once again saved!